Friday, May 31, 2013

Allow me to update last month's eulogy for the 14 pine trees no longer buried beyond Target Field's center field wall before I proceed with show & tell the jury details of new evidence in the case against the current Twins manager as it's been brought to my attention that the offending trees "...swayed in the wind along with the shadows they cast caused problems for several hitters on the Twins and other teams" (AP, 1/28/11). Yes, saplings sway, it took the associated press to break that story. If only they had told us sooner we could have carved out all that lush space in the batter's eye to pimp lottery tickets or spiced rum either a bottomless revenue pit  as opposed to the steep price one must pay to water and preserve a tree. But there will be plenty of time to sink into horticulture later, right now I'd rather present Exhibit Z which comes from May of 2013 when the Twins lost ten in a row. Only 3 times in the existence of the Minnesota Twins have they lost more than 10 straight (1982 - 14, 1961 - 13, 2011 - 11). It's not easy to do, check our lineups & rotations from 1994 to 1999, they couldn't do it yet Ron Gardenhire with twice the talent now owns 2 of the 4 longest streaks in history. Mid-May's week & a half derailment almost threatened hope itself for a .500 record and the playoff contention that comes with it (1 out of every 3 teams get in) fortunately the same old brewers from Milwaukee arrived on the scene at exactly the right moment for the 2013 Twins to catch their collective breath then foment resistance to a sub .500 fate. Game 2 in particular of the 4 game sweep may have single-handedly salvaged the season due to the rarest of sightings under Gardenhire's watch, a leadoff double successfully bunted to third scored the winning run on a 1 out sacrifice fly. I got emotional that night. I began to wonder if it was Gardy's first time. I mean it took until the top of the 14th inning two months into his 12th year on the job, but it happened. It brought a tear to my eye, not only because it was like seeing an old friend after a decade apart but I'd forgotten just how beautiful she could be.