Thursday, December 31, 2009

What no analysis of the Twins - Yankees 2009 ALDS the hatemail asked. I guess when u first have a nightmare (say 2003) u tend to share it with others when it becomes a recurring nightmare (2004) u consider professional help and when u fear the idea of sleep itself because that same nightmare awaits u tonight (2009) u share your feelings with no one lest they see into your private hell where insomnia has dominion over you. And who could sleep anyway its the last day of 2009 so why not fire off one last hatemail of my own before this foul decade belongs to the history books which likely wont want any part of it - i can see it now future generations flipping through the pages until they get to the part where parents started giving mood altering prescription drugs to their 5 year olds saying "oh so thats how it ended" - actually thats just the tip of the iceberg but why look below the surface right? breathe while you can easier said than done as I shovel significant pounds of snow in anticipation of new years eve party guests who would be well within their right to sue me into oblivion should they break an ankle on the ice which has overtaken the pavement so i chisel it all away spilling blood in the process my hands raw after 100 days of winter but 50% of the way to spring why pry $20 from my wallet for a decent pair of gloves now - shit warmer already i say just 100 to go then before u know it those of us fortunate enough to survive will be sitting at Target Field trying to forget it ever happened and so i drink to the halfway point as though i didnt already have a reason on december 31st after all need i remind my fellow Minnesotans that we are only 12 hours from the kickoff of the bowl pitting the gophers against iowa state a cruel year end punishment meted out by sick playoff-hating ncaa presidents who prefer to pop their corks into random toilet bowls meaningless exhibition games that 10 years from now hundreds of people will say they attended and dozens will claim to have witnessed on TV - all will be lying.