Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Rhetorical question, How did the Twins get back into contention? Starting pitching of course. Good pitching trumps good hitting so who could possibly derail our winning streak when our starting rotation was rolling ? One man - Ron Gardenhire. The Gardentool planted the seeds of defeat during friday nights 7 - 4 victory which gave the Twins six wins in a row. Carlos Silva, on a night his sinker was diving, was removed from the game after only 77 pitches. Can anyone please tell me why? Juan Rincon came in and not only nearly gave up a game tying 3 run home run to Adrian Beltre but ended up throwing 27 pitches to get through the 8th inning rendering him unavailable for saturday nights game which naturally went extra innings where the Twins lost. In the last week we have seen Romero used for 1 pitch and Rincon used for 2 pitches as our "manager" blows through his bullpen operating under the assumption that baseball is a 9 inning game and when he is taken by surprise by the concept of a 10th inning he is usually already reduced to his plan B - Terry Mulholland. In Gardy's defense, I'm not sure if an adequate amount of outside air is being pumped into the Metrodome so maybe not enough oxygen is reaching his brain. Could we hook up an oxygen mask in the corner of the dugout which Gardenhire could suck on during the game or would that violate MLB's rules against using performance enhancers? Bud Selig's hobbies dont include playing baseball, anyone who has seen him attempt to throw out the 1st pitch knows that, however he does enjoy studying his urine sample collection. The players have to surrender their 5th Amendment right not to incriminate themselves but managers are relatively free to improve their decision making skills by any means necessary. I'm for any substance, legal or illegal, which could tranquilize our manager into staying in the dugout longer because when it comes to removing our starting pitchers, Gardenhire clearly has a premature evacuation problem. And if the Gardenworm keeps taking his medicine someday he might even begin to comprehend managerial necessities like when to pitch out (lacking the instinct to guess right perhaps Gardy could steal a sign this century) or the hit and run which has been placed on the endangered species list under Gardenhire's reign of error.