Sunday, December 02, 2007

Who bought a used car from Bud Selig ? I hold u personally responsible for his improbable evolution from dealer to owner to commissioner. Who thought he would stand up and walk upright let alone rise to power within the cartel which eliminated the independent office of the commissioner of baseball. I lived in Wisconsin & Bud never sold me a car - thats how i sleep at night - but I'm guilty of turning a blind eye as he handed the keys to the Milwaukee franchise to his daughter and assumed the position. Accountable to no one Selig revealed himself to be anything but the harmless court jester who delivered the most comical ceremonial first pitch of all time (someone please save that footage) instead clown turned king terrorizing the countryside threatening eviction, relocation, & contraction simultaneously playing the wild card on our ass subjecting us to the eternal northeast wet dream of a Yankee-Red Sox ALCS as well as pushing the World Series into November. Game 7 of this years October Classic would have been played 11/01/2007 lest Selig & his pirate crew lose a piece of gold scheduling doubleheaders during long hot summer days. No, Bud prefers to freeze & on one fateful date in baseball history he froze for the ages allowing an all-star game to end in a tie then compounded his trivial mental error with a complete disfigurement of the game and its history declaring future all-star exhibitions (in which participation is determined by internet voters to frightened to attend games) decide home field advantage in the World Series. Not satisfied rewriting domestic policy Bud went abroad and invaded Montreal dragging Expo carcass across the border rewarding his generals with estates in the District of Columbia, Boston, & Florida then landed on the Caribbean shores forcing what remained of the Montreal franchise to toil in the fields of Puerto Rico while Bud basked on the beach burying his head in the sand during the clubhouse-turned-steroid den era abdicating responsibility while the game was soiled with a permanent asterisk because he believed homers helped ratings increasing ad revenue which normal people dont give a shit about but apparently a billionaire owner/commissioner can still get excited over one extra zero on the deposit slip.